Monday, February 13, 2012

When Cupid Strikes

So I've never been a huge fan of Valentine's Day.
I may quite possibly be the only woman in this world who actually cringes and rolls her eyes at first mention of the holiday.

Ok... so I'm not the only one.
I do dread those jewelry commercials however. 
~ major eye rolling paired with upper lip twist ~
Seriously~ugh, gag me with a spork.

But my hubs is good to me and *on his own will mind you* decides to participates in the celebration of the day.
What a good hubs.

After 10 years however, he knows NOT to get me something on the actual day.
Too traditional - Bleck.
I'm a rebel.

So he comes home tonight with these
Purple and Pink~Which I do heart. Bunches!
No roses, ugh, no way!
*and he also got N a pink flower,----Ahhh*

Flowers is about all of the holiday tradition I can accept for this day.
No chocolates, no jewelry, no big stuffed stupid bear
I am a rebel remember?

So he gave me something else I really do heart. 
And this is for real....
Simplistic, yet can actually make my day go a little smoother.

Yeppers, a cordless mouse.
AND it's purple. *Score!*

Now some of you may think, "Gosh how boring and lame-o of a Valentine gift!"
*Tisk--Tisk* Not true.
Let me tell you why.

I have been complaining about the stupid cord on my mouse forever.
It is too short and my computer only has a site for it to be plugged in on the left side.
Since I am not a lefty, it is constantly being drug through my homework and in my way.
GRRRRR! Annoying.
And because I would rather complain than fix this persistent problem
it continued to be....well...a nuisance.

Thus, a present was chosen not out of randomness, nor hastiness, nor tradition
But instead, out of thought.
And possibly to shut me up but hey, this is Valentine's.
It HAD to be chosen strictly out of L.O.V.E. ;)

Any plans for the big Heart Day?
Have a wonderful Non-Traditional Valentine's Day!


Tuesday, February 7, 2012

What did you say Oscar?

Today I am grumpy.
I hate when I feel like this.
Maybe it is the lack of sunshine
Maybe it is the cold weather
I dunno.

The waiting and waiting is taking its toll on me.
I'm not a fan of waiting in the general sense of the word.
And I don't really care to think about the adoption all the time because it does get depressing-- but I do, because I just do.
From the time we began to grow our family till now has already been 5 years.
We have gotten:  sorrow, shock, confusion, expenses and a plethora of other emotions all at the same time--but no baby.

Today I am irritated, frustrated, and quite frankly I'm angry about it.
Spilling my emotions to the world in a blog sounds helpful I guess. 
*Readers beware, because I'm at the bottom of the roller coaster today*

I always want to know why. 
And I know people in their best intentions want to tell you not to ask that.
But I do.
And it is O.K. and it is normal.
My brain knows I will never find my answer~yet my heart aches because I want to know.

I feel so tired.
So tired of worrying about where "she" is, how her health is, how are we going to pay for this....

Tired of rarely getting to see my husband because he is working his rear off at 2 jobs to save for this...
~~"Oh, he's not home...again?" or "But it's the weekend?"~~
Ahem...Not everyone's world revolves the same--yes this is a fact.
What I want to say is..."Butt out you turd!" 
But I don't...because if I can't say anything nice, I won't say anything at all.
Today I should probably go mute.
I'm tired of the general lack of knowledge and empathy from people in what we are struggling with.
*Empathy* NOT Sympathy.
Oh man that would really get me in a worse mood!

We are also under constant pressure of keeping up with demands of a child with a life-long disability.
It's not just the braces on her legs.
It has so much more in-depth than that.
 And it floods me with disappointment when she asks where her sister is.
Crushes me.
And I cannot leave this blog on a completely sour note.
It's the same theory as not going to bed angry I guess..

At school N has been learning about maps, (which she has had a fascination with since she was about 3).
She also has been on this kick to go on "adventure trails" and makes lists of what she would need to take with her, (this kid is a WHIZ at planning, lists, scheduling and organization) One of her quirky things I love!
We had an hour before sundown last night so B took her out on a nature trail.
And then we got to some yucky muddy parts and her little shoes starting sinking and making that farting suction sound--so we turned around and headed back.

And as I am posting these pictures, I can't help but smile and continue to be thankful despite my rotten mood. I contemplated erasing this entry entirely. But I am going to keep it and share it because it is true. I hope that I haven't brought down anyone's day in the process. 

This is me. Some days are rough, and some days I get angry. 
It's not anger really but rather:  frustration, lack of patience, stress, too much to-do's and NEVER enough time, "Heather I need shirts ironed for work please!" school tests, doctor appointments, grocery stores, muddy dogs, "Mom, I need your help!", never finding a gosh-darn mechanical pencil when I need one, rocks in the garbage disposal?, "the dog just chewed up what?!"and life in general some days. 

*And yes, my English grammar was just horrible and I'm NOT going to try fixing it! Hmmph!*  ;)

But one thing never fails to get me out of my crummy mood, and that is the joy of my family. 
And the search (and waiting) continues...

Saturday, February 4, 2012

Trusting Punxsutawney have no concept of a lazy Saturday morning,
Second...when you feel kinda down buy something shiny,
and Third going from nearly 70 degrees for a few days to 30's and snow flurries is nothing but a mean tease.

N woke up today at 6:36 A.M. 
A complete injustice to Saturday mornings and the laziness they should provide. Yes? Yes!
Which totally reminds me of something else,
B came home the other day drinking this
Anyone who is anyone has watched The Simpsons at one time or another and knows the connection to the show--
Only since B was coming home from work I'm glad it was in Energy drink form and not made out of malted barley, yeast, and hops like Homer! D'oh!
I'm trying very hard to get B OFF his addiction of energy drinks....
it has been difficult to say the least.
I blame the 2 years he had to work the overnight shift when he first became manager.
Overnight shifts are HELL.
My heart will always goes out to those working it and their families.

Well.............It's been a few days and I haven't heard anything new about the adoption.
*Sad face*
So, when you feel kinda down--buy something shiny. Yes? Yes!

And I paired a coupon with a good sale so I could justify getting this too...
A.D.O.R.A.B.L.E. #2
I must have been in a cute booties kind of mood. I totally love this color (and I'm not normally a yellow-hued type of gal) and it's shiny. Why does this theory work? 
What am I like a raccoon or something? geesh.
I will admit my feelings of disappointment lingering back when I actually had to dust her bookshelf to put this up. ~grumbly whine~

Patience. Patience? Oh yeah, Patience.

And while I thought Phil the groundhog was just another over-sized squirrel, I think that darn rodent may be right.
Here I am digging out my sandals, and helping N find her shorts
all the while thinking of...
 And tonight it started to snow. Oh well, I'm not trusting a rodent named Punxsutawney. I like my sandals too much. =)